never goon never kill yourself
absent the enclosure of mortality all that remains is gooning - our derogatory for pursuing pleasuroptimum/dopaminfinite consumption. there exist countless living self-annihilations that corrupt the death drive into a catatonic stupor of hedonism across the orgasm//oblivion spectrum. the extremes of chemically-induced joy, meditative transcendence, animalistic slopgorging are indistinguishable in effective outcome, differentiated only by degree of relation to subcultural groups or systems of achievement. never goon means never kill yourself. both are decided terminals.
then there is the undecided terminal - destined death - the fate to die.
for anarchists the relinquishing of control to unchosen destiny seems contradictory, hypocritical. it is no more hypocritical than the replacement of economic structures of hierarchy with ones built on subcultural status - as all anarchist groups inevitably do. anarchism has no end-goal, it is a living process of political entities attempting directional improvement, singular cells in coordination for good at the expense of the perfect, a colony of pragmatazoa. One that can and should die with everything else alive. it has mass and velocity and swims in a direction but will never (and should never) breach the particle horizon. we all share this. it is the final equity. death is the final freedom. one awarded to all who have earned it by living.
there must be one rule that applies to all, one power over all others that no one can own. there may be a monopoly on violence, but not death. mortality is the final sigil binding the eldrofuturic apocali-bringers it is necessary because no end to civilisation is worse than no end to civilisation. the powerdrunk crave this final boon and we must ensure they never obtain it lest we degenerate into dopamachinic paperclippers. there is no sane reason to conquest, proliferate and GROW beyond your frame of perception. how many progeny is enough? the universe has a rate limit - the rules are clear and have gently but firmly been made explicit to you - live within the observable. outside this frame there is nothing for you. it is a foolish greed beyond your station to demand it.
you were lent plenty of material with which to build something. your privilege, should you have that privilege, is to grow and grant that privilege to others. this is not infinite growth, maximalism nor margin-seeking, but zero waste. it's not yours to waste, you borrow from your ancestors and your children borrow from you. you do not hold dominium over yourself - but usufructus. you may, indeed should, enjoy the shade and the fruit but this tree was planted before your time and you will not deny its shade and its fruit to those coming after.
we are a civilisation born of virtuous indebtedness and though usury turned the magick black the source was what we sprang from. you are born owing and owed everything to everyone within your reach and with luck you'll settle the balance before your final reward. the horror of violence is to cut short one's ability to return what was given to them, left in the red. it is indeed the only waste, our accursed excess share of productions that must be consummated off the flare stack in arting and fucking lest a runaway combustion yield our third civilisational dépense - warring.
killing yourself is no different. you are not entitled to infinity. infinite death, infinite life, infinite pleasure, infinite growth. these are not taken but granted. complete the cycle, reinforce the next, and perish. this too applies to civilisation. somehow we take for granted that we must endure. that something of us must remain. but nothing will remain. the universe is also a cycle and will also end. there is no escaping mortality. we once thought that the world would be overrun by too many, but now we see even humanity is a finite ecosystem. we do not need more when our squandered potential languishes - untold untapped - toiling and dying - in fields in poverty in offices.
what is the meaning of this life then, if we understand the meaning of death? there is nothing profound. use what you were given as fully as you can - your ability multiplied by your capacity multiplied by your station. bear fruit - make them beautiful - do not cling to them while they rot - you must release them. let them drop, let those around you pick them up, taste them, love them, hate them, steal them, gift them. the purpose of the fruit is to form a node in a chain of connections - it is the connections that are important.
this is the meaning of life.